Trapped In My Own World
by LyssaGranger
Summary: [RWHG] Hermione is gone from Ron's life. How they all deal with the loss.
1. Chapter One

Discalimer : I own nothing that has anything to do with Harry Potter, thank you for your time - that is all.  
  
A/N : Hi guys! My wonderful lovely friends! hehe! okay I know this is like my 20ths started before ending any other fic story! BUT! I was thinking ... I've never written any fics like this! Where theres a bit of sadness and fluff and mystery all in one! So I was like Lissa! IDEA! Lets write this fic! So here Lissa is, writing this fic! Even though I KNOW I should be writing the next chapter in all my other fics! But don't worry! They're all going to come! .. SOON! Here you all go!  
  
Trapped In My Own World

Chapter One

Present Time  
  
It had been over a year since he had last seen Hermoine Granger, the girl who had stolen his heart many years ago when they had first met on the Hogwarts Express, leading them to a long, painful year where their friendships were tested for the first time, but never the last. He remembered that first day, she had come into there small compartment on the train in search of Neville's toad. She had shown an attitude greater than any eleven year old girl could possibly carry, but she held her head proud as she told Harry Potter, his new found friend, and himself who she was and why she had interrupted their conversation. A smile played across his face as he remembered her pointing out the dirt that sat on his nose that day.  
  
'Ron? Are you in here? It's almost time to go, are you ready?' Harry poked his head through the door of the boy's dorm at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
The two boys had sepnt almost one full year at Hogwarts without their best friend, Hermione. It had been so hard to come back to the grand castle for their sixth year without her there, constantly reminding them to stay away from the Forbbin Forest and the thrid corridor and all the other spots students weren't suppose to be.  
  
He had woken up that morning, waiting for her to bounce into the boy's dorm and pull back his covers, then quickly move to Harry's bed and do the same, like she had done many times the year before. He woke up every morning waiting to see her smiling face greet him to a new day, he continued to wait. The girl who held his heart had only been alive in his dreams, not in the real world. He sat still on the floor next to his four poster bed in the Gryffindor Sixth Year Boy's Dorm and did not move, stuck in his made up world where Hermione still smiled along with the sun, where her eyes still gleamed with the stars and her every waking word shone in existence forever, in his mind where he made everything happen. In his world he and Hemione were happy together with Harry and Ginny laughing together and holding hands.  
  
'Come on mate, let's get going, we have to be in the Great Hall before everyone else.' Harry moved into the room. Ever since Hermione had stopped showing up in their lives he had become a vacant body, roaming his house, the school, the streets - the world. He no longer spoke, spending his waking hours in his mind with Hermione. His eyes had become hollow and Harry and Ginny were forced to care for him.  
  
Harry had taken her absentce very hard as well but he managed to keep his life in tack, he helped keep the Dark Lord at bay, fighting him off and defeating his plans whenever needed, training with Snape, learning new spells for the next battle against Voldemort and somehow, managing to work along with Ginny at keeping Ron from slipping completely into his own world.  
  
Ginny could still be heard at nights, crying for the loss of her best friend, although when the sun was up she was as strong as Harry had to be. She always put on a smile, like Harry, when around him. They talked to him as if he were a frightened child, speaking slow and gently. By night Ginny was a weeping mess. She kept a brave front for her brother, but once he left the cold, hard world, in sleep, she would break down and Harry would be left to comfort her.  
  
Although he wasn't mentally there to see the state Harry and Ginny were in, he knew it was there. He knew they were having a problem dealing with Hermione's absence and withdrawal from the world. He understood he made life harder for his best friend and sister, but he couldn't tell them he was sorry, he couldn't speak to them.  
  
Soon after Hermione hadn't returned to Hogwarts he had sunk back into his skin, into his own world, no longer did he live in the real one, with Harry, Ginny, or his friends and family. If something happend in the real world he knew it had happend, but it didn't phase him, he was in a place where he was happy, with the girl he loved.  
  
'Come on Ron, Ginny is waiting for us in the common room. Let's go.' Harry coaxed. 'It's alright.' He pulled him to his feet and lead him down the stairs to the empty common room where his sister sat, staring into the roaring fire.  
  
'Ron. There you are, how are you feeling?' Ginny snapped out of herself as she saw Harry leading them toward her.  
  
'He's fine, aren't you Ron?' Harry had answered for him. Many months ago the two had learned it was pointless to wait for him to answer, he never spoke.  
  
'I know he is. Come on, Dumbledore is waiting for us in the Great Hall.' Ginny smiled, the small, soft smile much unlike the beaming, happy one that use to take over her face before all chaos had hit. The new smile was a sad one, as though she had forgotten how to do this properly. When Ginny smiled it was as if she was replaying her old life over in her mind again, as though she couldn't quiet remember how it was, but those parts she hadn't forgotten were like a dream she had once had, nothing more than a dream long ago.  
  
The three of them walked in silence, back to the Great Hall, back to Dumbledore. He was inbetween his sister and best friend as they walked down the corridor, their footsteps echoing in the emptyness. The silence scared Ginny, he knew this, and yet, he let it eat her alive. He never spoke to her, to keep the silence from boring into her.  
  
Harry knew this too, he looked at Ginny out of the corner of his eye and took her hand in his with his free one, the hand that wasn't keeping him up as he stood between the two. When her hand was safe in Harry's Ginny's rigid body losened a bit. He could tell how safe she felt with Harry there with her. Had he had any emotion left in him, he would have felt horrible for being unable to keep his sister from going crazy in her own mind.  
  
They finially reached the Great Hall, it was empty and still, the bewitched ceiling showed it was dark, cold and raining out. 'Headmaster.' Harry whispered once they were infront of the old wizard.  
  
Dumbledore had taken a dramatic toll in his appearance over the year. His hair, more silver than possible, he was slightly more hunched over than before and the wrinkles in his face showed his age. The one thing that worried Harry and Ginny most, was the twinkle in his eyes, the spark that use to sit in his grey eyes, showing his unknown knowledge and mystery, the sparkle had vanished ever since the day he brought the news of Hermione to the three young children.  
  
'Harry.' Dumbledore looked down at the children he had grown so protective over, 'Are you ready?'  
  
'No, nothing could possibly ready us for this.' Harry choked, squeazing Ginny's hand tighter as she stiffled a sob.  
  
'Headmaster, are you ... are you sure this is the right thing to do?' Ginny whimpered.  
  
'My dear, I truely wish I could say yes, but I don't agree with this at all. I think it would be in Miss. Granger's best interest to continue with this, but we can no longer keep up.' The Headmaster's eyes were lowered, 'The Grangers' have decided this is the best way to go, and we must respect their wishes, she is, after all, their daughter.'  
  
'Headmaster, couldn't you speak to them? Help them better understand what they're about to do?' Harry whispered.  
  
'Harry, my boy, I have tried, but they will not see it. We must do as they wish.' He explained kindly to both of them. 'Come this way, bring Ron.'  
  
He lead them to the small door by the teacher's table at the end of the hall. Dumbledore opened the door and held it open for them as they struggled to get him in. They seated him in the far corner of the room and took a seat at the table placed in the center, Dumbledore at the head and Harry and Ginny next to one another, to the Headmaster's left.  
  
'Now what?' Ginny thought aloud.  
  
'Now? We wait. Wait for it all to end.' Harry made himself speak as Ginny lowered her head to his shoulder.  
  
He sat there for who knows how long, looking down at the wood floor, as he watched Hermoine pick wild flowers in a feild of gold, blue, orange, yellow, purple, rainbow colours. She looked so beautiful he thought as she brushed a small fly away from her cheek. Hermione looked up at him and smiled softly when she noticed his eyes on her.  
  
Some where, in the other world, he saw Mr. and Mrs. Granger walk into the room, closely followed by two important looking men in business cloaks. They all sat down and began talking in a sullen tone, signing papers, shaking heads, weaping, screaming at one another, until finally, Ginny stood up and ran from the room in a mess of tears.  
  
'Sorry.' Harry spoke firmly before rising to his feet, letting the chair scrap the floor as he, rather roughly walked from the room, on to find Ginny, on to comfort her, to help her understand, to protect her from the pain. He didn't know what had happend or why, he didn't know, he didn't see, he wasn't really there, he was in his own world, still watching his beautiful Hermione in the feild, unaware of the real world and all that was going on.  
  
He sat there, hollow and empty, in his own world, until Harry came back down to get him. 'Come on mate.' He said sadly. 'It's all over now, I know you probably aren't listening to me, but it's all over.'  
  
Harry lifted Ron from the chair and walked him back through the corridor and up to his four poster bed, before returning to the girl he so sorely longed to see the old Ginny in again, but knew he never would.


	2. Chapter Two

Discalimer : I own nothing that has anything to do with Harry Potter, thank you for your time - that is all.  
  
A/N : Hey guys! I'm back! Ha I bet you guys are getting sick of me now huh? I bet your all like whoa! I wish she would go hide in a cave somewhere! She's ALWAYS here! writing more and updating more! when will the madness END?! Well guys! The answer is ... not to soon! You all wanted me back here, writing and updating! So? That's what you get! hehe! Love ya lots!  
  
Trapped In My Own World

Chapter Two

Past Time  
  
'Mione! Come here, I need to tell you something.' He called to Hermione who was standing with Ginny by the opening to platform 9 and 3/4. Hermione looked up, her frizzy brown hair was flying around her slightly tanned face, her eyes sparkling.  
  
She walked over to where he stood and smiled at him 'Ron?' She was so beautiful, he had always thought so. She carried his heart around so gently, even without realizing she held it.  
  
'Mione, I ... I - er ... I wanted to tell you something.' He studdered. He had liked Hermione since he had first meet her, five years ago on the Hogwarts Express and every year after. He wanted to tell her how he felt, now, on the platform where it was a busy mess of students and Muggles walking around, trying to board or leave the train station.  
  
It was a warm summer day, they had all just gotten off the train, ending another year at school. He, Hermione, and Harry had all just finished their fifth year at school and would soon be returning for their sixth year that fall. Ginny, his younger sister had just completed her fourth year and, along with them would return back in two months.  
  
'Oh? What is it Ron?' Hermione smiled again and his heart melted. Her smile brought warmth to him, he felt as though, even after spending the night fighting Voldemort, his world was peaceful and safe, just because she smiled.  
  
'I ... well, Mione ... I just wanted to say I - ' Just as he was about to tell Hermione how much he liked her, his mother called out.  
  
'Ron! Hermione! Come here! I want to take pictures!' His mum shouted.  
  
He sighed as they walked over to the group of Weasley's, all with flaming red hair, and Harry sticking out with his dark brown hair, in the middle of everyone.  
  
His mother first made them all stand together, all of them, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, the twins, and himself. She took a few pictures of everyone. Then made the twins leave. She had Ginny, Harry, Hermione and him stand together, then took a few of only Harry and him, then a few of only Harry and Ginny. Next a couple of Ginny and him. Finally, she moved everyone aside and took a bit of him and Hermione together. He held her tightly as they posed for the picture, laughing and smiling together. 'Alright sweets! That's all the film we've got! It's starting to get dark! I think we should all head home.' His mother laughed as she put the camera away. 'Hermione, love, are your parents picking you up? Or would you like to come back to the Burrow for a while? You know you and Harry are always welcome.'  
  
'Oh thank you Mrs. Weasley, but no thanks, my parents should be here soon.' She smiled as she hugged everyone.  
  
'Bye Mione. I'll see you soon right? The Weasley's invited you over for the summer right?' Harry asked as she hugged him quickly.  
  
'Yeah, they did. I'll probably be there the last week of the summer. Make sure to write, okay?' Hermione told him, sweetly.  
  
She moved over to Ginny, 'Love you Gin! I'll write you when I get home.' She hugged her too and smiled.  
  
'Ron ... I'll miss you. Promise to write?' She asked when she was infront of him.  
  
'Of course.' He smiled down at her, watching the way her curls moved in the wind. A small curl blew out from behind her ear and he was tempted to reach down and put it back into place with the rest. Instead he stuffed his hands safely in his pocket.  
  
'Good, I'll see you soon.' She stood up on tip toe and kissed his cheek lightly.  
  
Hermione took a step back and looked round at everyone. She thanked his mum and went to pick up her trunk as all the Weasley's and Harry left the station.  
  
On the way home as they were all uncomfortably stuffed in the small car they had borrowed from his dad's work, he thought longly of Hermione. He had been so close, he was about to tell her how he felt, that he loved her, that he had loved her ever since the day he first laid eyes on her, but he hadn't gotten the chance. He felt like he had been kicked in the shin, his mouth had gone dry and he couldn't pluck up enough courage to call her away from the group once more before she had left.  
  
He used the whole car trip back to the Burrow up, thinking of Hermione, why he hadn't told her how he felt before, now? Why he liked her, wondering if she liked him. He had worn himself out thinking and worrying and by the time he had arrived home he was to tired to even eat the lunch his mother had made for the family. He went right up to his room and fell asleep.  
  
It felt as though he had just shut his eyes before he was woken again. A small brown owl was tapping at his window. He got up and allowed the bird to fly into his room.  
  
The small owl sat happily on his bed as he untied the letter from it's leg. He opened it and noticed the small, neat hand writing, Hermione's hand writing. He walked over to his desk and began to read the note.  
  
Dear Ron,  
  
You wanted to speak to me before? At the station? What was it you had to say? I'm sure it was important, is it too important for a letter? Would you like to call me? If you can get to a Muggle villiage near by you can call me at my house and we can talk. Alright?  
  
All My Love, Mione  
  
At the bottum, quickly scrawled to the note was a number. He let out a deep breathe and took a quill and parchement out of the desk.  
  
Dear Mione,  
  
No, I didn't have anything very important to say. It was nothing. But I'm happy you wrote me, I take it you got home from the station safe? I can't wait to see you, if you want to come over sooner, you can always ask. Mum wont mind.  
  
Love You, Ron  
  
He sent the letter back with the little brown owl and went out side for some fresh air.  
  
The next few weeks of the summer went by like usual, he ate, slept and wrote to Harry and Hermione. Harry's letters came only once and a while, he assumed this was because his aunt and uncle wouldn't let him write letters to his friends so Harry had to do it when they weren't around.  
  
Hermione's letter though, came always. Three times a day the little brown owl made a visit to his room with a letter from her. They kept close with the letters, he would always wait for the three letters a day, everyday, the first letter would be there when he woke up in the morning, the second would come just after lunch and the last would arrive just before he went to bed. When the owl showed up he would let it in, and give it some water while he wrote back to Hermione.  
  
After the first two weeks Hermione's letters soon dropped to two letters a day, then one. Until the sixth week of summer, when they stopped coming all together.


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer : I own nothing that has anything to do with Harry Potter, thank you for your time - that is all.

A/N : I'd like to explain this fic a bit. You see, Hermione has disapeared and no one has seen her since the end of fifth year. No one knows what happend to her and Ron has taken her disappearence very hard. He's made up a world in his mind, a world where he and Hermione are happy together, and Harry and Ginny are still alright.

But, infact, in the real world Harry is not okay, Ginny is scared out of her mind, and Hermione is not there with him.

Harry and Ginny have to take care of Ron because he doesn't speak and his mind is in his own world. He's kind of like an empty body.

Trapped In My Own World

Chapter Three

Present Time

He and Hermione sat on the over stuffed sofa in the Gryffindor common room staring into the fire. Hermione was in his arms, resting her head against his chest. She was smiling and it made him smile. The common room was empty aside from Harry and Ginny, who were both sitting on the couch next to them, both rather close to eachother. It didn't matter though, he started staring into Hermione's beautiful brown eyes, forgetting anyone else was in the room with them.

Hermione looked like an angel, the flickering fire light hitting her locks of brown hair and her creamy skin, making it seem as though she was glowing. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead he just watched her, she really was just as beautiful as ever. She was like an angel, her brown eyes sparkling with happiness.

'Ron? Mate, come on. Please? Will you just snap out of it, we need to tell you something. This is important.' Somewhere in the world he no longer lived in Harry was calling him. But he didn't hear, he didn't see Harry sitting infront of him in the sixth year boy's dorm, it was impossible for him to see Harry there because Harry wasn't in the boy's dorm, he was in the common room sitting with Ginny. In his world Harry was sitting with Ginny infront of the fire, in the real world, though, they were in the dorm, he didn't know that though, because he didn't live in that world anymore. So to him, Harry and Ginny were still happy and he was with Hermione.

'Ron! Listen to us! JUST LISTEN TO US! Snap out of it! Hermione is _gone_! She's not coming back, Ron. That world you live in, that place in your mind where you and Hermione are happy and together, that place where Harry and I are okay - that place isn't _real_ Ron! You don't even live in the real world anymore, you've completely given yourself up to that world you made up! Do you want to know the truth, Ron?' Somewhere in the real world his sister, who was sitting next to Harry, watching him with wide eyes in the boy's dorm was screaming, her voice shook but she kept the volum up. 'The truth is, Ron, Hermione _is_ gone, you two aren't dating, she's GONE! Harry and I aren't happy, we're miserable and you aren't alive anymore, Ron! You've died, you ... you've lost your mind, your physically here, but your _mind_ is somewhere completely different. Are you listening to me? LISTEN TO ME!'

For a split second the scene changed, he was sitting on his four poster and Harry and Ginny were sitting on the floor infront of him, Hermione was there. As fast as the room came it vanished once more. He was back on the common room sofa, the fire warmth hitting his face and Hermione was in his arms.

Back in the world of hate and hurt, where Harry and Ginny really lived Harry was holding Ginny tightly against him as she cried and sobed into his shoulder. 'Ron, don't you see what you're doing? First we lost Hermione, now we've lost you. Come on, I know you're in there, Ron. Listen to us?'

There was a long silence, with only his sister's muffled sobs, echoing around the dark room. Then Harry spoke again, 'Ron? I'm going to talk anyways, even if you wont, even if you aren't listening. Hermione's parents have called off her search. I don't know if you remember me telling you this at the beginning of the year, but Dumbledore got Aurors to take Mione's case. They've been spending the past ten months looking for her. Today ... today Mr. and Mrs. Granger had a meeting with Dumbledore, Gin, and I, you were there too, do you remember? They brought two of the lead Aurors who were working on finding Hermione. They called the search off, Ron. Do you know what that means? No one is looking for Hermione anymore, no one is going to find her. She's never coming back now.'

He heard this, he heard it all. He knew he was sitting on the couch with Hermione in his arms, but in the back of his mind he was also looking down at Harry, Ginny, and some boy he had long forgotten about.

_What are these three talking about? _A little voice asked him in the back of his mind. _Hermione is right here with me. She's safe, she's happy ... with me._

In this room, where he watched from a small part of his mind, Harry was holding Ginny, whispering in her ear. He wanted to know what was going on, why his sister was crying, why Harry was telling this red haired boy, who looked oddly firmilar, that Hermione was gone. He tried so hard to consentrat only on what this other place, this other world.

Suddenly he was no longer watching everything from above, he was watching things through the eyes of the boy he couldn't quite remember. He didn't care what had happend, he just wanted to make his sister stop crying. He reached his arm out and put it firmly on Ginny's shoulder.

Everything froze. Harry looked up, his eyes wide, unblinking, watching him. Ginny's sobs were cut off and she turned to face him.

'R-Ron?' She whispered.

He wanted to tell her it was okay, he wanted to tell her Hermione was fine, she was with him. But he couldn't, he couldn't open his mouth and he couldn't make words come out.

'Ron, did you - did you hear me?' Harry spoke to him, looking him right in the eyes.

'Harry, hurry up, tell him everything, right from the beginning, before he goes again.' Ginny breathed out.

Harry nodded and began, 'Ron, last summer, around August, she disappeared. The last person she every spoke to was you, Ron, in a letter she wrote you.

'No one knows where she is or who took her. When Dumbledore was alerted of this, last summer, he got two of the very best Aurors to take her case. They checked her room and there was no sign of a struggle, they think whoever took her lead her out of her room and she didn't try to stop them. No one knows why. But, Ron, it's been ten months since we last heard from her and the Granger's have cut the search off. They don't want anyone looking for her anymore. Dumbledore says it's probably because it hurt them to much to have to have Aurors searching the house every week, trying to find new clues they overlooked the first time, being questioned about that night, having to relive it over and over again. Ron, the Aurors think _your_ the only one who can help Hermione now. They think that if you came back, you could help them, talk to them about the things she said in her letters. But after ten months of nothing and you being ... in your own mind, the Granger's gave up and stopped the search.' Harry's eyes turned to Ginny and he whispered something he could barely hear. 'Gin! If he's ... better! We can get the Granger's to reopen Hermione's case. Dumbledore could get the Aurors back and we could find her!'

He didn't understand any of this. Hermione was _fine. _He tried to tell them, but no words came from his mouth. Silence. Sick, twisted silence. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell. He wanted to tell them they were wrong, but he couldn't.

He didn't like this place, he didn't like the way everything was so dark, he didn't like how Hermione wasn't near him, he wanted to go back. He closed his eyes and pictured Hermione's face and when he opened his eyes again, he was back in the common room with her in his arms. Harry and Ginny on the sofa next to them, all smiling. This was where he liked it best, everything was peacful in this place. He didn't want to go back to the dark, sad, world where Ginny cried and Harry looked pale and worn out. Where he was now, this world was much better. He had Hermione.


End file.
